On Saturday I was contributing my time to a Christian Concert event (http://www.musicinthesquare.com/). A friend and I decided to take lunch at the Wendy's across the street. We arrived at an ideal time as there was also no line ahead of us but one quickly formed behind us. As we were being served the manager opened another cash to help out. Upon seeing the manager my friend remarked she thought that the manager (a woman) looked familiar. So she went over to talk to her and sure enough, they did.
My friend had worked with this woman at Wendy's 20 years ago (and I had worked next door at Culture's) and here this woman was was still working at Wendy's 20 years later.
20 years of Wendy's?? No offense to the fine establishment that Wendy's is but we had a hard time grasping that reality. In those twenty years we had each held half a dozen different jobs and had our own businesses, gaining unique experience from each position along the way. What experiences has she had in 20 years of working at Wendy's? A whole lot of the same old, same old.
Now to be fair, it's possible she left Wendy's pursued other things and for whatever reason returned, although I doubt it. I doubt anyone would return to Wendy's once they had expanded themselves in their careers. Regardless, if someone told her 20 years ago this is what she would be doing now, without question, she would have venomously called them a liar and assured them she would not. So what happened?
Without interviewing her on the matter we can only speculate but some of the answers are clear.
Comfort - Staying at Wendy's was more comfortable than trying to do something new. Possibly she has limited education or just doesn't believe she's all that bright. Either way she has vastly underestimated her own potential and allowed herself to settle for what was easy and safe.
Fear - There's always some fear in changing careers. Fear you may not be successful in your new job. Fear you will be rejected and never find another job. Fear you may not like your new job. Fear can conjure all sorts of ridiculous notions into your head.
Doubt - Clearly she doubts she could do better. Ties closely into fear.
Lack of Vision - Does not have any dreams or vision for her life. So she's just cruising down the river of life, caught in the current, seeing where it goes, better or worse.
Lack of goals - As above. She's not setting goals for herself. Even if she doesn't have any dreams or aspirations, she should still have been goal setting to get ahead in her life. After 20 years she should, at least, be regional manager, not still working front line manager.
Not before we pass judgement on this lady let's look at ourselves first. While very few of us, nowadays are in the same career for 20 years, many of us are stuck in some area of our lives where we haven't really moved on. Most likely, we aren't even aware of it or if we are, we choose not to think of it. Reflect for a minute on all areas of your life. Is there some area where you've allowed yourself to sit for 5, 10, 20 years? Looking back 20 years, are you now where you would have envisioned yourself being at this point in your life? If not, why not? Most likely for these same reasons.
Do not allow any more time to go by, you've been idle long enough. Decide, right now to change. Define what you want that change to look like and then take immediate action.
Don't allow the next 20 years to slip through your fingers.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Steps to Success - Part 1 - Dreams
When I was a child, I used to write and draw my own comic books. I had a whole binder full of various heroes and villains I had created. I dreamed of the day when I would be a grown up writing comic books for real. Imagined the touching fan mail I would receive and how the fan boys would interrogate me at the comic conventions for some tiny little juicy tidbit of information about what was going to happen to their favorite characters.
Changes are when you were a child you had such dreams of your own. Of being a music star, a major league sports player, a model, a doctor, a airline attendant or whatever your heart desired.
Whatever happened to those dreams? If you are like most people, they somehow got lost in the process of growing up. You had to set them aside and 'get real'. Find a 'real' job and make ends meet. Some of you may have kept a little fire burning for your dreams but the sad truth is most people just abandon them. Instead they allow society to mold them. They fall into a career, make a decent living and just accept that as the way it is.
They go through life comfortably but without content. Something is missing and they know it. Sure they have a spouse, kids, a home, a car, a dog or cat and enough money to live comfortably but it all seems somehow unfulfilling still. Sure they like their job but it's not the job they really want to have. The house may serve adequately and harbour fond memories but it's not the home they really desired. The car or two certainly gets you around but it's not the car they want to be seen in.
However the single biggest factor in the discontentment is the fact that they simply don't know what it is they they even want. They have no clear idea what career they would rather be doing, what their dream house would actually look like or even what car they would own if their was no limit to what they could choose. They have given up on their dreams. Instead they have only loosely defined wants and desires with no passion behind then whatsoever.
Without vivid dreams life has no passion. Without passion life loses it's flavour. It's like steak without salt or condiment. It may fill your belly but you don't really enjoy the experience the way your know you should.
When you goto a restaurant the first thing they ask when you order steak is how you like it. What type of steak do you want? How do you want it cooked? Do you want mushrooms on that? What sides would you like? I bet you could quickly answer all those questions with little thought but when it comes to the steak of life are your answers so clear? They should be.
Before you can actually engage life and live it on your own terms you must clearly understand what those terms are, otherwise you are doomed to failure as you'll aimlessly zig and zag uncertain of where you're going. That's like going on a long roadtrip without a destination. You'll end up somewhere but without a clear objective you'll probably settle for the first decent thing that comes along. Which is probably how you got to where you are now in the first place.
Dust those old dreams off or chart out new ones!
Take 10 minutes right now and write out what you would like to do with your life. For now, put absolutely no limitations on your dreams. If you would like to visit the space shuttle, write it down. If you dream of marrying a movie star jot that down. Want millions and millions of dollar? Write down an amount irregardless of how crazy it seems. Go crazy, these are your dreams after all. Dreams are suppose to be the stuff of fantasy, it's goals that need to seem achievable and we'll cover that later.
Make 4 lists - Love and Social goals, Finacial & Career goals, Fun/Toy/Adventure goals, Life Enhancement / Charity goals.
Social goals are all your romantic notions, friends you'd like to have, social status you would like to obtion, etc.
Finacial & Career goals set what you want to be doing with your life and what that will look like. How much you want to earn, house you want to have, etc.
Fun/Toy/Adventure goals are spice of life. Where do you want to travel? What activities would you like to do? Do you want a sports car or outroad vehicle?
Life Enhancement & Charity goals are those things that will make you feel better and more complete about yourself. Want to learn more languages? How to dance? It's also important to have charitable goals too. You cannot recieve without giving so define what you want to give back to this world and how. Do you want to be a big brother/sister? Want to travel to some staving nation and distribute aid? Or finally start tithing a full 10%.
Spend 2-3 minutes on each. Just let it flow. Be crazy and adventureous and have fun!
Continue reading once you've finished.
Done? Okay...
Put a timeline beside each goal. Whatever you think is a reasonable amount of time for you to achieve that goal.
Then pick one 1 yr goal, one 10 yr goal and one lifetime goal for each list.
For each of those write out two paragraphs. The first paragraph says why this is an important dream. How it'll make you feel. What benefits it would bring to your life or those around you. The second paragraph says what the repercussions of never accomplishing that dream would be. How would that make you feel? What lost opportunties does that create? Make these paragraphs as compelling as you can.
Now transcribe all that onto a sheet of paper or series of card and put that somewhere where you'll see it everyday. Review it twice a day, everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious. This is where you are heading in life and why. Once that becomes a part of your make-up you will automatically start seeing all sorts of potentials for getting there that you never even realized before because now your mind it aware that this is what it should be looking for.
Changes are when you were a child you had such dreams of your own. Of being a music star, a major league sports player, a model, a doctor, a airline attendant or whatever your heart desired.
Whatever happened to those dreams? If you are like most people, they somehow got lost in the process of growing up. You had to set them aside and 'get real'. Find a 'real' job and make ends meet. Some of you may have kept a little fire burning for your dreams but the sad truth is most people just abandon them. Instead they allow society to mold them. They fall into a career, make a decent living and just accept that as the way it is.
They go through life comfortably but without content. Something is missing and they know it. Sure they have a spouse, kids, a home, a car, a dog or cat and enough money to live comfortably but it all seems somehow unfulfilling still. Sure they like their job but it's not the job they really want to have. The house may serve adequately and harbour fond memories but it's not the home they really desired. The car or two certainly gets you around but it's not the car they want to be seen in.
However the single biggest factor in the discontentment is the fact that they simply don't know what it is they they even want. They have no clear idea what career they would rather be doing, what their dream house would actually look like or even what car they would own if their was no limit to what they could choose. They have given up on their dreams. Instead they have only loosely defined wants and desires with no passion behind then whatsoever.
Without vivid dreams life has no passion. Without passion life loses it's flavour. It's like steak without salt or condiment. It may fill your belly but you don't really enjoy the experience the way your know you should.
When you goto a restaurant the first thing they ask when you order steak is how you like it. What type of steak do you want? How do you want it cooked? Do you want mushrooms on that? What sides would you like? I bet you could quickly answer all those questions with little thought but when it comes to the steak of life are your answers so clear? They should be.
Before you can actually engage life and live it on your own terms you must clearly understand what those terms are, otherwise you are doomed to failure as you'll aimlessly zig and zag uncertain of where you're going. That's like going on a long roadtrip without a destination. You'll end up somewhere but without a clear objective you'll probably settle for the first decent thing that comes along. Which is probably how you got to where you are now in the first place.
Dust those old dreams off or chart out new ones!
Take 10 minutes right now and write out what you would like to do with your life. For now, put absolutely no limitations on your dreams. If you would like to visit the space shuttle, write it down. If you dream of marrying a movie star jot that down. Want millions and millions of dollar? Write down an amount irregardless of how crazy it seems. Go crazy, these are your dreams after all. Dreams are suppose to be the stuff of fantasy, it's goals that need to seem achievable and we'll cover that later.
Make 4 lists - Love and Social goals, Finacial & Career goals, Fun/Toy/Adventure goals, Life Enhancement / Charity goals.
Social goals are all your romantic notions, friends you'd like to have, social status you would like to obtion, etc.
Finacial & Career goals set what you want to be doing with your life and what that will look like. How much you want to earn, house you want to have, etc.
Fun/Toy/Adventure goals are spice of life. Where do you want to travel? What activities would you like to do? Do you want a sports car or outroad vehicle?
Life Enhancement & Charity goals are those things that will make you feel better and more complete about yourself. Want to learn more languages? How to dance? It's also important to have charitable goals too. You cannot recieve without giving so define what you want to give back to this world and how. Do you want to be a big brother/sister? Want to travel to some staving nation and distribute aid? Or finally start tithing a full 10%.
Spend 2-3 minutes on each. Just let it flow. Be crazy and adventureous and have fun!
Continue reading once you've finished.
Done? Okay...
Put a timeline beside each goal. Whatever you think is a reasonable amount of time for you to achieve that goal.
Then pick one 1 yr goal, one 10 yr goal and one lifetime goal for each list.
For each of those write out two paragraphs. The first paragraph says why this is an important dream. How it'll make you feel. What benefits it would bring to your life or those around you. The second paragraph says what the repercussions of never accomplishing that dream would be. How would that make you feel? What lost opportunties does that create? Make these paragraphs as compelling as you can.
Now transcribe all that onto a sheet of paper or series of card and put that somewhere where you'll see it everyday. Review it twice a day, everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious. This is where you are heading in life and why. Once that becomes a part of your make-up you will automatically start seeing all sorts of potentials for getting there that you never even realized before because now your mind it aware that this is what it should be looking for.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
One Life to Live
I watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button in which Brad Pitt plays the role of a man who is younging instead of aging. He's born old and gets younger as the years go by.
It's a thought provoking and touching movie and ultimately I found it very sad but not for the reasons you may think. While my daughter was crying because he died a baby in the arms of an old woman who had been the love of his life, I wasn't really touched by that (it was a pretty obvious conclusion), I was greatly sadden because here was a man who had lived a truly unique life, held a unique view of the world, unique experiences and challenges and although he had done and seen a great many things in his time, once he was gone, there was nothing left of him except a journal which because of it's inconceivable tale would probably never leave his daughter's care. A daughter that had never even know him. Really, when the old lady passed away so did any last trace of Benjamin Button. Like vapour in the wind.
What a tragic waste. Yet, it is any different than you and I? If you were to die, right now, what mark will you have left behind? Think about it. Most people will at least live on through their kids, somewhat, and hopefully they were a positive contributor to their child's psyche and didn't instill unwittingly a lot of their own limitations into their children's lives (got you thinking now, didn't I). But once those who knew you die, what's left? Anything? Will it have mattered at all that you ever lived? Does that even matter to you? Perhaps you're content to just go through life, experience it and then when it's up it's up. Like a day in school, and you're just another student passing through for a few years.
But the greatest thing we bring to this world, is our diversity, our individuality, our unique outlook on life. We are all Benjamin Buttons. We all go through life on our own unique journey, gaining experiences that while maybe shared, still hold a unique meaning to us, developing our own unique outlook on life. And while it was tragic to lose Benjamin Button's perspective because of his special circumstances, is it really any less of a loss to lose your special perspective? Of course, none of us live forever, we are all but passing through. While we are here, we have an opportunity to shape this world, to craft it in our own image, our own vision and leave a lasting impression on this world that will signal out to generations yet unborn and be a warning, an inspiration, a statement, a question or a general betterment of life so that because you suffered, you have made sure no one else will ever have to suffer again.
Everyone who has left their imprint on this world from Napoleon, to Shakespeare to Nelson Mandela to Alexander Graham Bell have all been great men but they are still just people, exactly like you and I, no different, no better, no greater except they determined that they wanted to make the world a better place (from their perspective and in their own method) and didn't allow the general river of life to pull them along. Instead of going with the current they stuck their paddles in the water and made their own way charting a new path for all to follow or learn from.
Benjamin Button did touch on a couple of interest life points too, like you never know what tomorrow may bring. At one point Benjamin is just a happy crew member of a tugboat company, a comfortable if unambitious position but one day, that boat is commission by the navy as they enter the second world war. For the most part life continues as it had before, only what they were hauling changed, until they come across a u-boat that sinks them and destroys the life Benjamin had taken for granted.
Despite the fact that the last 5 years have been rout routine does not guarantee that tomorrow will be. You could win the lottery or be shot. You could find true love or get into a violent quarrel that ends it. You don't know, so you have to work on today, making the most of it, being the most of what you can be and doing what you can to make this world a better place, now, while you still can.
On the flip side, Benjamin meets a woman who had a dream, to swim the English Channel and she tried as a young lady to do so only to fail because of inclement weather. She had always meant to try again but her faith was crushed and instead she fell into a life of comfort and quiet desperation. However before the end, she somehow regained her faith and tried again as a mature woman and succeeded.
In the same way, it's never too late to realize your dreams. Certain opportunities may pass you by never to return, you cannot become a star Olympic athlete at 80... unless you switch from being a gymnast to being an equestrian jockey. Unless you change from being the star to coaching the star or sponsoring the athlete. As long as your alive and of right mind, you can still find a way to make it happen and you absolutely have an obligation to yourself to do exactly that.
We are here, with but one shot at this thing called life, even if you believe in reincarnation, do you really want to do all this over and over again until you get it right? My son had to repeat grade 10 math three times and trust me, he never wants to do it again. He'd have been much happier if he had applied himself the first time and never needed to repeat it at all. So commit yourself to live the life you truly want to live and be the person you truly want to be. You will not always succeed, sometimes inclement weather will scuttle your swim across the channel but take heart, if you're alive then your dream is alive too and you have but to try it again, and this time you'll give yourself the grace to postpone a day or two if need be to get the right weather. Nothing is ever a failure as long as we do not fail to learn. Any experience from a failed relationship to a fail business is not a failure in our lives or out character as long as we've learned from it and can apply that knowledge going forward. There are always more people to love and more business opportunities to try one's hand at and if you stick with it, you will succeed. Successful people don't fail less, they fail more and learn from each misstep how better to proceed.
You are your own unique creation. You are your very own Benjamin Button or Edward Scissorhands. Embrace that, don't follow the wide path but strike out on your own in a direction that seems best to you. Win or lose, the world is better off for your endeavors and so are you. Find a better route and suddenly the world will stop calling your crazy for going into the harsh bush country and call you genius for having the foresight and fortitude to find a better way. In doing so you'll leave a legacy for the world will be forever altered for the better by your presence.
It's a thought provoking and touching movie and ultimately I found it very sad but not for the reasons you may think. While my daughter was crying because he died a baby in the arms of an old woman who had been the love of his life, I wasn't really touched by that (it was a pretty obvious conclusion), I was greatly sadden because here was a man who had lived a truly unique life, held a unique view of the world, unique experiences and challenges and although he had done and seen a great many things in his time, once he was gone, there was nothing left of him except a journal which because of it's inconceivable tale would probably never leave his daughter's care. A daughter that had never even know him. Really, when the old lady passed away so did any last trace of Benjamin Button. Like vapour in the wind.
What a tragic waste. Yet, it is any different than you and I? If you were to die, right now, what mark will you have left behind? Think about it. Most people will at least live on through their kids, somewhat, and hopefully they were a positive contributor to their child's psyche and didn't instill unwittingly a lot of their own limitations into their children's lives (got you thinking now, didn't I). But once those who knew you die, what's left? Anything? Will it have mattered at all that you ever lived? Does that even matter to you? Perhaps you're content to just go through life, experience it and then when it's up it's up. Like a day in school, and you're just another student passing through for a few years.
But the greatest thing we bring to this world, is our diversity, our individuality, our unique outlook on life. We are all Benjamin Buttons. We all go through life on our own unique journey, gaining experiences that while maybe shared, still hold a unique meaning to us, developing our own unique outlook on life. And while it was tragic to lose Benjamin Button's perspective because of his special circumstances, is it really any less of a loss to lose your special perspective? Of course, none of us live forever, we are all but passing through. While we are here, we have an opportunity to shape this world, to craft it in our own image, our own vision and leave a lasting impression on this world that will signal out to generations yet unborn and be a warning, an inspiration, a statement, a question or a general betterment of life so that because you suffered, you have made sure no one else will ever have to suffer again.
Everyone who has left their imprint on this world from Napoleon, to Shakespeare to Nelson Mandela to Alexander Graham Bell have all been great men but they are still just people, exactly like you and I, no different, no better, no greater except they determined that they wanted to make the world a better place (from their perspective and in their own method) and didn't allow the general river of life to pull them along. Instead of going with the current they stuck their paddles in the water and made their own way charting a new path for all to follow or learn from.
Benjamin Button did touch on a couple of interest life points too, like you never know what tomorrow may bring. At one point Benjamin is just a happy crew member of a tugboat company, a comfortable if unambitious position but one day, that boat is commission by the navy as they enter the second world war. For the most part life continues as it had before, only what they were hauling changed, until they come across a u-boat that sinks them and destroys the life Benjamin had taken for granted.
Despite the fact that the last 5 years have been rout routine does not guarantee that tomorrow will be. You could win the lottery or be shot. You could find true love or get into a violent quarrel that ends it. You don't know, so you have to work on today, making the most of it, being the most of what you can be and doing what you can to make this world a better place, now, while you still can.
On the flip side, Benjamin meets a woman who had a dream, to swim the English Channel and she tried as a young lady to do so only to fail because of inclement weather. She had always meant to try again but her faith was crushed and instead she fell into a life of comfort and quiet desperation. However before the end, she somehow regained her faith and tried again as a mature woman and succeeded.
In the same way, it's never too late to realize your dreams. Certain opportunities may pass you by never to return, you cannot become a star Olympic athlete at 80... unless you switch from being a gymnast to being an equestrian jockey. Unless you change from being the star to coaching the star or sponsoring the athlete. As long as your alive and of right mind, you can still find a way to make it happen and you absolutely have an obligation to yourself to do exactly that.
We are here, with but one shot at this thing called life, even if you believe in reincarnation, do you really want to do all this over and over again until you get it right? My son had to repeat grade 10 math three times and trust me, he never wants to do it again. He'd have been much happier if he had applied himself the first time and never needed to repeat it at all. So commit yourself to live the life you truly want to live and be the person you truly want to be. You will not always succeed, sometimes inclement weather will scuttle your swim across the channel but take heart, if you're alive then your dream is alive too and you have but to try it again, and this time you'll give yourself the grace to postpone a day or two if need be to get the right weather. Nothing is ever a failure as long as we do not fail to learn. Any experience from a failed relationship to a fail business is not a failure in our lives or out character as long as we've learned from it and can apply that knowledge going forward. There are always more people to love and more business opportunities to try one's hand at and if you stick with it, you will succeed. Successful people don't fail less, they fail more and learn from each misstep how better to proceed.
You are your own unique creation. You are your very own Benjamin Button or Edward Scissorhands. Embrace that, don't follow the wide path but strike out on your own in a direction that seems best to you. Win or lose, the world is better off for your endeavors and so are you. Find a better route and suddenly the world will stop calling your crazy for going into the harsh bush country and call you genius for having the foresight and fortitude to find a better way. In doing so you'll leave a legacy for the world will be forever altered for the better by your presence.
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