Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Art of Self-Sabotage

If you're keeping abreast with my concurrent blog - Preston's Path to Prosperity - then you know I've recently met someone that - at first blush - is the very essence of everything I'm looking for in a woman. I won't get into details here except to say she is gorgeous and wonderful.

After our first date I was estactic to have met such a high quality woman. After the second date with everything going very smoothly, I was feeling like the master of the Law of Attraction.

But now, the next day, my subconscious mind is already at work undermining my confidence.

Have you ever wished for something and wondered day in and day out why it couldn't be more like 'X'. Then when for once you actually get exactly 'X' you're feeling it's just too good to be true? That there simply must be something wrong. Some string or catch and you start looking for any tattletell sign of what's wrong with this picture.

That's where I am right now. If she doesn't pick up the phone, does that mean she's lost interest? Perhaps she only wants to be with me because I'm a Canadian citizen and she's not or she assumes I'm well established in life and able to look after her and her child. Looking back on our relationship so far there's no valid reason for me to assume any of that is true, it's merely my own poor self-image working against me.

In his seminar, Bob Proctor said that we must reach 'levels' before we can advance our life. For example, it's unfathomly hard to go from working poor to vertually non-working millionaire in ones mind. Sure they can envision it, but if they were to suddenly have an inspiration of what to do to make that reality they will almost certainly shoot it down as rubbish. Simply because that reality is too far removed from all their past and present references of life. It just can't be that easy. Right? Wrong.

While not every idea is a surefire winner, there ultimately are some of them out there. The people who succeed are the ones who can believe in them long enough to prevail.

For that hardworking poor person striving to get ahead, they need to go after a shorter term goal of something that they can actually fundimentally believe they can acheive. Like reaching middle-class. Surely they know some people living at that level and certainly they can reaffirm that those people are not significantly, if at all, any different than they are. That way when success comes, they can accept it.

Once they become acclimatized to living life at that level they can dream and pursue bigger and better goals.

We must always be on the lookout for those self-limting thoughts and behaviours though.

I recently read that in a study of a couple dozen millionaires that had succeeded from all different walks of life, the one recurring theme amoungst them all was a belief that they could not fail. They did not take reckless, foolish risks, and it would be next to impossible to maintain that beleif system if they did, but whatever risks they took, and it wasn't uncommon for them to risk it all, they proceeded on that unwavering belief that they would find a way to make it work.

Now someone could argue that there would also be a set of people with that belief who tried and failed. This is true. What constantly amazes me is how many successful people have been bankrupt at some point, often multiple times. Bankruptcy seems like the end of the world to most of us but to these people it's merely a stumbling block and they merely try another venture utilizing what they learned in the last attempt.
Again, they've maintained that belief that they will not fail over the long run. They have seen others be successful and figure that therefore, it must also be possible for them to achieve success as well.

This extends into all other areas. It's well documented that pretty much any successful person you can think off dealt with failure or rejection at some point.

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Therefore if we accept that failure is a part of life but certainly not the end of a voyage we must also come to an acceptance that success is also a part of life and we must learn to accept both in good graces.

So while my concerns might may some basis and should be considered, it's counterproductive to allow oneself to become consumed with looking for reasons why one's success isn't in fact valid.

Remember we attract what we focus upon. So stay focused on how wonderful this success will feel and what future opportunites it opens up while staying mindful of the potential pitfalls.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Guard Your Mind - Part 2

Aside from fears and doubts growing from within our mind we must also be vigilant about those trying to enter from outside.

When you are using the Law of Attraction, you are fixing your attention onto something that hasn't happened and for the most part, something that there's no 'rational' reason to expect to happen, at least not in traditional thinking.

Often family and friends will kindly offer 'advice' on your dreams. Be wary, while some advice my be insightful, too often they are just sharing their doubts and fears with you. Lock those out of your mind! Guard your mind from negative influences. "Practical", "reasonable" and especially "realistic" are all words that often hide what is really just doubt. I assure you, no one who has truly broken from the crowd and achieved outstanding success did it by doing what the crowd thought was practical, reasonable or realistic. No, those people set unrealistic goals, unreasonably believed they could achieved them and went ahead without knowing exactly how they would end up accomplishing that goal - something totally 'impractical'.

But when doubt is dressed as 'common sense' it is all too easy to shallow it and allow it to deter you from your goals. However think about this; by definition 'common sense' is the sense that is common to the masses. So if you want to continue to achieve the same results as the masses then please continue to use the same sense that is common for those results. If you want to achieve greater results then you need uncommon sense. Sense that is use by only an enlightened few.

Where do you find uncommon sense? It all around you but for an start try Six Minutes to Success or one of the books recommended on the right. Or just keep on coming back here.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Guard your mind Part 1

I was just e-mailing two of my friends about two completely different matters but the advice I ended up giving them had the same truth in them. It was also the same truth I had just read in Bob Proctor's book Born Rich and one I've known about for many years. So here it is for all to enjoy.

Yesterday I was watching 'Canada's Worst Drivers'. They were putting the drivers through an obstacle course, on ice. As expected, many were slipping and sliding around, fishtailing into pilons. One driver however, when confronted with a cardboard moose or policecar as an obstacle continual ran directly into them.

The judges explained to that person that when you seize your brakes the car will slide directly forward but that wasn't their problem, their problem was they were seizing their eyesight onto the obstacles they wanted to avoid, to the same effect. Instead, he was instructed, he need to look where he wanted to go and then he would naturally turn in that direction.

Too often people focus on the very things they are trying to avoid or dwell on the very problems - that haven't happened - that they don't want to happen. But life is much like driving a car. If that's what your fixing your attention on, then that is what you will move towards. We need to always be fixing on attention always and only on the end result we want.

Of course, we are not blind or stupid. You do not just ignore the obstacles that crop up in your life but you need to not focus on them either. Just adjust course and continue on your way.

Life is always full of challenges but do not let that bother you in any way. Just accept that as the way it is, deal with each one accordingly and keep moving towards your goal. If you look at the overall situation, sometimes it can feel overwhelming but you need only to address one day at a time. Surely any of us can get through one day no matter how difficult it may be. Now you may think 'but if every day is difficult then I'll get worn out' and that may be true if that is your focus. IF all you are looking at is the difficulties of each day you will tire but if your focus is on what the end result will be and how good that'll feel, you will find enough energy and enthusiasm to get through each and every day. Nor will they remain difficult forever.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Patience is a Virtue

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful" Hebrews 10:23

The one item success coaches do not talk about enough, at least, not enough for my impatient self, in the need for patience. An entire chapter should be given to this subject for it is that critical to success.

If we accept Napoleon Hill's notion of "Whatever a man can conceive and believe, he can achieve." or from Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” then we except the notion that whatever righteous thing we have fixed out minds on we can achieve.

But even given that, it requires two critical things - persistence and patience. I've spoken about a third; faith, already. It is obvious that if you want a thing, then you must put it into motion, not just once but continuously. This is one area where you have only to look around you to see that the overwhelming majority of people do not put it into practice. That talk a good talk but only timidly actually take rubber to the road and drive down the path to success. First road block they come to usually stumps them as this road has no GPS to tell them in advance what is the proper way to proceed but if they were to just take to the side street they would discover the detour is marked.

"Success it the ability to go from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

We must remain persistent with our actions even when the results are not indicative of success.

I have seen it commonly said that Thomas Edison had almost 10,000 failures before he successful invented the electric light bulb. That's not entirely true. The electric light had already been invented in Britain by Swan and Canada by Woodward before Edison even started. Edison bought Woodward's patent and eventually merged with Swan's company to sell electric lights in Europe. The reason Edison is credited is because he is the one that persisted in refining the idea until he had a design that would be practical and affordable to the average consumer.

Did it take 10,000 tries? Perhaps but in the end it was Edison's persistence and vision that enabled him to become rich off of it even though the initial idea and brilliance was from someone else. Edison expected success.

Had Woodward had the faith, persistence and patience to continue trying we might all be calling the electric light bulb a Canadian invention instead.

However the stumbling block for many of us, often myself included, is in the lack of patience. We persistently continue to try, continue to hold the vision - with faith but when we do not see the results we become frustrated. This is why patience is so critically important. We do not know when the breakthrough will come.

In the movie - The Secret - they talk about how the Law of Attraction has a delay factor. We must first create the seed of an idea and then plant that idea into our subconscious minds, from there it will germinate but like any seed growing into a plant or tree the process takes time. Depending on the seed it could be a day before we see a sprout, a week or even years later when certain conditions are met.

A plant seed has an advantage in that it never doubts itself. It doesn't sit on the surface of the ground and worry that it isn't planted under the earth to grow, nor does it fuss that perhaps it's been planted too deeply and won't reach the surface once it starts to grow. It simply waits for the right conditions and then it merely grows be it minutes after it's fallen or three years later. The universe provides the soil, the water, and the light it needs.

In the same way, once we have created an intense desire, we need to be able to live in a state of patient expectation that the desire will manifest itself into reality. Patient being the operative word for anxious or impatient expectations will only draw those things we don't want, those factors that could stunt our growth into our lives since that's what we've begun to focus on.

There will always be road blocks and detours on the way, that's natural, do not let them sway your expectations - remember, "He who promised is faithful". Cultivate a mindful state of relax and joyous expectation. Thank God every day for your success, envision what you will be doing once you have achieved it, mentally see yourself as being that person already. This will seem weird and like you're living a lie at first because your current reality is always a reflection of your past thinking patterns. Do not dwell on the current realities. Acknowledge them and act accordingly but do not dwell on them. Dwell only and always on the future you're in the process of creating.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Bob Proctor - Live - Multiple Sources of Income

Here are some other gems I picked up from seeing Bob Proctor live and in person.

There are three ways people in this world make money.

The main way, which is the way no doubt you and everyone you know is currently employing is to exchange time and effort for money. IE - hold a job. That is the way 96% of the world earns a living. And combined the earn something like 3% of all the wealth in the world. That is one ugly statistic.

But it makes sense if you think about it. Think of all the rich and famous people out there. Did a single one of them become that way by 'working hard'? I'm sure they did put in some hard work, but no one gets rich by hard work alone in and of itself. Any fool can simply work harder and many do.

The second means to achieve wealth is to use money to make money. In other words, stocks, buying and resell property, etc. About 3% of the world does this and in exchange that 3% earns something like 1% of all the wealth out there. That is infinitely better than 96% splitting 3%. The only problem here is not that many people are really good at the stock market, and it's risky, damn risky.

The third means to achieve wealth is to multiply your time. How? By having multiple sources of income. Not multiple jobs but finding various means to generate cash without heavy time investments to yourself personally. The 1% of people who master this are earning 96% of the world's wealth. They are multi-millionaires and billionaires. Nor are they exactly 'sweating' to earn that cash.

Think about it. Billionaires like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and major corporations like Sony or Pepsi don't own one business - they may be best known for one but inevitably they have spread their wings and have multiple businesses or revenue streams going. Even rappers have gotten in on the act. How do you think people like Jay Z, P. Diddy and others are getting so rich? Not by their music alone, that's just their foot in the door, they are using the cash and fame they earned by rapping to start clothes lines, colognes, to produce other artists, etc. They are rich because they understand this principal.

But how do you find these multiple sources of income?

Let me share another of Bob's keys - The Prosperity Formula

Their are 3 'C's in this formula.

Consciousness - You must first be aware of how success works. If you're reading this site, reading the books I've suggested, and subscribing to things like Six Minutes to Success then you will have a solid understanding or awareness of what allows success.

Creativity - Where do songs, inventions, stories, ideas and all creative thought come from? Ask anyone who's written a song, book, or created an invention or idea. Unless they stole it from someone they'll enviably say 'It just came to me'. All creative thought is pull from the spiritual plane or thought plane of existence. It must be because it certainly doesn't exist in our physical plane until it first enters someone's mind and they physically manifest that thought.

That spiritual plane of thought, where all ideas past, present and future exist and has always existed is there for any and everyone to use. You only need to tap into it. How? In simple terms, by first believing that you can and then allowing it to happen naturally.

When we reflect back on our billionaires we can see that creative thought is what set them apart from everyone else. They tend to think of new ideas that either improve existing processes or better peoples lives in some way and put those things into action.

Think of any business. Who is paid more? The front line staff or the President/CEO? Obviously the President/CEO and those around him are paid the most. Why? Because they are highly educated? No. In fact someone on the front line of the organization may have had the exact same education, and possibly even better grades but they are still making a small salary while the President/CEO is racking in many times their earnings. People on the top are the ones with the creative vision to propel the company forward. They don't even necessarily need to be educated at all. Thomas Edison and Henry Ford were both High School drop outs.

So creative thought and not hard work alone is the key to success.

The last C is Connections.

Surround yourself with people who are also on the road to success. Who will encourage and support your ideas and purpose.

Also expanding your network of friends will allow you to have access to more opportunities.

So going back to Multiple Sources of income, you need to understand that 'how' you are going to find them shouldn't be a concern. Once you understand the Prosperity Formula you will find the ideas for them will start to merely come to you in alignment with your goals and purpose and in direct response to your passion and belief in what you are doing.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Bob Proctor - Live!

A week ago I had the unexpected pleasure to see Bob Proctor (best known from The Secret movie) live. As I subscribe to Bob's Six Minutes to Success I was sent an invitation to see him speak live and in person in Toronto for free. While I had suspicions about why it was free (trying to sell me something?) I was quick to jump on the oppurtunity.

Sure enough, there was a sales pitch which I won't bother to go into because it's not relevant here but the rest of the 2 hour session was golden.

There was a lot of goodness that Bob covered but what struck me the most was his points about paradigms. I will try to recap the information as best I can here.

Bob started with a simple drawing of two circles, one above the other connected by a line. The top circle is the mind and the bottom the body. Obviously the mind controls the body. However, the mind has two parts - the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. So he drew a line through the upper circle to show that with the conscious mind over the subconscious mind.

The conscious mind has more direct control over the body than the subconscious however whenever the conscious mind isn't giving specfic directions the subconscious mind assumes control. IE: You may consciously decide to hold your breathe but you don't consciously breathe, you just do it.

The conscious mind has the capacity to evalute new information and determine it's validity. What the conscious mind decides to accept as fact is transferred to the storage banks of the subconscious, otherwise it's discarded. The subconscious mind however does not have this capacity, it merely accepts everything given to it as 100% fact.

This much I knew, Anthony Robbins in particular covers this topic quite well in his book 'Awaken the Giant Within'. All success coaches in fact depend on the subconscious mind's total acceptance of fact to change behaviours through visualization (NEC). Basically the subconscious cannot distinquish between what is real and what the conscious mind vividly imagines. Ever had a really pronounced dream and when you awoke you wheren't quite sure if it had happened or was a dream for a second until your senses determine where you are and that you were dreaming? But Bob added a new twist to this idea for me.

The subconscious mind takes the information it's given and creates a paradigm - a belief system that says because I have X number of references for this, it must be true, a fact, a law. Generally this serves us well. But not always. In my previous post I spoke of a woman who had trouble believing that her lover wasn't cheating since all her previous lovers had. She had developed a paradigm that was no longer serving her and was in fact perventing her from finding the very man she desired.

The conscious mind generally is swayed by the paradigm when deciding what information is relevant and what actions need to be taken. Rarely if ever do people stop to think about their paradigm beliefs or how they acquired them.

At this point Bob erases the upper part of the circle representing the conscious mind. When we are first born, we have no consciousness, no structured thought. So all information is being fed directly into the subconscious mind and accepted as fact. This continues to a lessening amount for the first few years. At this age the brain is like a sponge and absorbs an amazing amount of information. For example children from multilingual homes have no difficulty in learning the multiple languages. By the same token, they learn the prevading beliefs of their surroundings. So if they grow up in poverty they develop a paragidm of poverty - that money will always be hard to come by. If they grow up in a wealthy home they have a paradigm of wealth and that money is easy to come by. This naturally extents to all areas of beliefs from relationships to health to society.

Once a paradigm sets in the subconscious the conscious mind relies on it as a filter to determine what new information we accept as fact. Generally people keep adding new references that support their existing beliefs and reject or dismiss those that don't. Which explains why very few people who grow up in a poor neighbour are able to break the cycle of poverty. It's not that opportunities dont' exist (granted they may be very limited), it's that thier subconscious paradigms don't recgonize them.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Faith - Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

"Why is it that whenever we seem to be achieving our goals something goes wrong?"

If success was as easy as merely choosing what you want then everyone except for the most narcotic and laziest of people would be successful already. And to an extent they are. Most people are living comfortable lives because that's the life they chose. They could be living a grander life but that comes with personal expansion, risk and a large willingness to travel into unknown territory. People may not be content with where they are in life but they are comfortable there, even if it on a street corner, so they are more content to stay where they are than change.

When we do decide to make a change and strive for something better we almost always encounter roadblocks along the way. There's two main reasons for this and the first one is we bring it down upon ourselves.

Our own past experiences and expectations work against us as we anticipate problems, become fixated with what may happen and turn it into a self-fulling prophesy.

For example a woman who has a history of choosing unfaithful partners decides she wants someone better and won't settle for less this time. She makes some changes to her habitual life patterns and succeeds in attracting a better quality of guy. So now she's content right? Unfortunately, often no. Her subconscious mind has a paradigm that all men are unfaithful, supported by a lot of previous evidence to this effect. So she remains concerned that her new boyfriend will be unfaithful too. To calm that anxiety she starts to check up on him, question him whenever he deviates from set routine and generally distrust him - so when he eventually does prove unfaithful she won't devastated.

Now the guy loves her but she's starting to drive him away. In frustration he starts discussing his situation with another woman. He has no intent for anything to happen there and nothing does but as his girlfriend remains suspicious he remains in contact with his support person. Eventually his suspicious, spying lover discovers he's been seeing some other woman and assumes the worst. Furious she tosses him out. Heartbroken he seeks to be consoled by his friend. That women in turns realizes that the other woman is a complete fool to have tossed out such a great guy and she scoops him up on the rebound.

And thusly the woman's fears and expectations have created the reality she sought to avoid. Before she can be in a faithful relationship she must first be able to believe, in her subconscious mind, that it can and will happen.

The second main reason for things appearing to go wrong is because often something needs to be broken in order to allow for things to grow into what will be.

If you have a potted plant that plant can only grow as large as the pot will allow. Once the roots have run out of room, the plant's growth is stunted. If you want it to continue to grow you need to remove the old pot and place it in a larger one and add more soil. We of course never worry about doing this, other than to be gentle during the transition but that's because we are the gardeners not the plant. We know beforehand a larger, better pot is coming, or perhaps a move to the garden.

However, when the role is reversed it's a cause for panic. If you are trying to grow your life in some area, you often outgrow the 'pot' you are in. To continue to grow that old pot must be removed. An example would be having friends that don't encourage you - this is a very common trap. People hate to see someone else succeeding more than they are, plus opinions are the cheapest from of currency on Earth. Everyone has them and are all too willing to share. So your friends, out of concern, or subconscious jealously try to talk you out of your 'crazy' ideas or assure you it's totally okay to just remain like they are. In order for you to grow life or yourself, God must first remove you from these obstacles.

When the pot of your old friends is removed it causes a great deal of anxiety. They were your support mechanism after all, broken as it was but now you have no one. Scared many people run back to what they know. The old familiar pot and stunt their growth. If they could just continue in faith then life would surround them with better, more like-minded friends, their new pot, and allow them to take their life to the next level.

The third reason is you need to be challenged to grow. If life never challenged you, unless you made it a habit to challenge yourself (which is always a good habit), you would never grow. You would simply remain the same as you have always been. Sure you might want more, but why change when being how you are is good enough? It's not until life challenges you in some way that forces you to step up that you are able to live life at a higher level.

So if your seeking to step up your game in life, expect to run smack dab into situations or challenges where it's a necessity. When it happens don't shirk from it because you don't know what to do, embrace it!! This is exactly what you need from life. You may not know what to do, but remain confident you will figure it out and find a way. When you do, a way will become apparent to you.

Lastly, at least last as far as this post goes, is that it's a test of faith. It's always a test of faith. In all the preceding examples faith is needed.

The women seeking a more faithful husband must have faith, first, that there are faithful lovers out there and that she will find one before she can succeed in doing so.

The person losing their friends must have faith that more will come or else they're bound to remain where the are.

The person facing challenges in life must remain faithful that they can overcome or they'll merely give up.

Without faith, there simply is no way.

Mind is the master power that molds and makes,
And we are the mind, and evermore we take,
The tool of thought, and shaping what we will,
Bring forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills,
We think in secret, and it comes to pass
Our world is but our looking-glass

James Allen - Author of As Your Think

We need to fixate our minds on positive results. Until that becomes our habitual thought pattern. When you can meekly accept that you can and will achieve you goals then you are able to accept the apparent loses and set-backs as mere necessities for your new life to flourish. Whatever must happen to allow your success, will. Until you can accept it as a welcome necessity you are prone to work against the very forces that are helping you along.   The more you  fuss about and push against what you perceive as wrong, the longer you will be trapped by it.  You are channeling your energy into fixing what is 'wrong' instead of focusing on going from where you are to where you want to be.  Where ever your persistent thought is, is where you're headed, even if that's the last place you want to be.  So always stay focused on the end result.