The Art of Maintaining Proper Perspective

By Preston Squire

Last time I spoke about The Fifth Power 'P' for Enduring Success (Perspective).

At the end of that blog entry I stated I would write tomorrow about

The Art of Maintaining Proper Perspective

Well that was about a week ago. Now whether that is a good or bad thing, depends entirely on your perspective. Many might say, well he's not living up to his commitments. He is not taking the site seriously. That I have broken the flow of daily articles. On the flip side, one might be relieved. Relieved that they had a break from daily articles. Many cannot keep up with reading one every day in their busy lives and likely needed a week to even get through the rest of the series:

The Power 'P's of Enduring Success

•  Patience
•  Persistence
•  Positivity
•  Prayer
•  Perspective

Personally my perspective is this: It is best to write when God inspires me to do so. When inspiration comes, the words flow, and the topic is more enjoyable to read; more impactful. When I write out of some sense of commitment, the facts may all be there, and still have value but I am just trudging through it. In the end those articles tend to read (and write) like a school text book. The information is all there but you don't enjoy the process of digesting it.

Right now, over the last couple of weeks, God has been working with me or through me to share these techniques to keep yourself going when you feel like you are about to quit. So often, far, far too often, we quit when we are closest to achieving our goals.

The primary reason we quit just shy of obtaining our dreams, is because;

"It's always darkest before the dawn" - Unknown

In a religious sense, it's when we are closest to achieving our victory that the enemy attacks us the fiercest. Things always seem to be going wrong and the end is no where in sight. So we expire. The pain of continuing out weights the pain of giving up. But that's only because we can't see how close at hand our victory is! The world is full of true life stories like this:

It was a fog-shrouded morning, July 4, 1952, when a young woman named Florence Chadwick waded into the water off Catalina Island. She intended to swim the channel from the island to the California coast. Long-distance swimming was not new to her; she had been the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions.


The water was numbing cold that day. The fog was so thick she could hardly see the boats in her party. Several times sharks had to be driven away with rifle fire. She swam more than 15 hours before she asked to be taken out of the water. Her trainer tried to encourage her to swim on since they were so close to land, but when Florence looked, all she saw was fog. So she quit. . . only one-mile from her goal.


Later she said, “I’m not excusing myself, but if I could have seen the land I might have made it.” It wasn’t the cold or fear or exhaustion that caused Florence Chadwick to fail. It was the fog.


Two months after her failure, Florence Chadwick walked off the same beach into the same channel and swam the distance, setting a new speed record, because she could see the land.


- John Cochran


Source unknown


When we know victory is close at hand we have the strength to carry on but usually we can't see it.   So when your feeling like you are at the end of your rope, remember these 'P's.    


If you feel like you have been patient enough, that you just can't persist any longer, that you can no longer maintain positivity, and that prayer doesn't seem to be helping, then your problem is a lack of proper Perspective.


Perspective is a result of the questions we are asking ourselves.   If you want to gain a better perspective, you need to start asking more empowering questions.


Stop asking why is everything going wrong.  Ask what can you learn from this to help you succeed.


Stop wondering 'why me?'   Accept that challenges are a part of life and if you are experiencing a lot of them, it means growth.   Remember:


"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache, carries with it the seed of equal or greater benefit."  Napoleon Hill


Everything in life is a double-edged sword.   All good comes with a seed of bad and all 'bad' comes with a seed of good.  People who succeed consistently, aren't luckier or even more skilled, or more intelligent than you or the norm of society.   They are the people who reap the harvests when they come and reap the seeds for future harvests when their crops get hailed on.   They find the good in every situation and maximize it!

If you're asking 'Why me?' then you're just feeling sorry for yourself because you are only looking at the bad.  You should be getting excited because the seeds of tomorrow's dreams are in your hands now.   Ask yourself what good has come from this and how can you maximize it.

It may be hard to see at first.   If your husband of fifty years suddenly dies that can leave you feeling vulnerable, alone, overwhelmed and grieved.  But even grief is merely a chosen perspective.   Some cultures celebrate death!   They see it as the person transitioning onto something better.   Their worries, pains and suffering are all over.   In those cultures if you're feeling grieved, you are just feeling sorry for yourself.    I'm not saying it's wrong to grieve, I'm just saying we do so because our culture has taught us that it's needed, necessary and appropriate.   If you grew up in a culture were grieving was considered inappropriate, self-indulgent and shameful and that death was a blessing for those you cared about, then while you may miss you're loved one, you wouldn't be grieving over them.

In this case it may be hard to find the good as the challenges of suddenly living alone in the twilight of your years may seem overwhelming.   However, almost certainly, you would now be able to do a lot of things you couldn't or wouldn't have done while you were married.   You can enjoy a lot of new life experiences.  You may never have handled your own finances before, but having to do so needn't be scary, it can be liberating!  Suddenly you have more control over your own life than you've ever had before.   It all depends on your perspective.   Look for the good in all things.  Plant those seeds so they can grow.

Does the sense of new found freedom outweigh the loss of a loved one?  Probably not.   But focusing on those things that bring you pleasure will move you forward.  It will keep you in a better frame of mind.  It will help you to go through the less pleasant realities that must be dealt with.   It will build a better tomorrow that you can look forward to and draw strength from.

Your perspective will depend on what you decide to focus on, what you decide things mean to you and what you decide you are going to do to create the results you desire.  So choose wisely.

Sometimes things may be too raw for you to gain a proactive perspective so you need to be able to pull yourself away, mentally and emotionally if not physically to allow the tide of emotions to pass.    Centre yourself and find God.   Find balance.  If you continue to thrash around in an emotional panic the tides will drown you.   If you can pull yourself away, meditate, pray, relax and find your balance, then you can surf those waves to shore.

That doesn't need to take a long time.  Napoleon Hill, who spent his life studying the most successful people in the world noted that many of them, could be in a hectic meeting, close their eyes, withdraw from the immediate pressures into a quiet place in themselves and draw on divine intelligence for guidance.

There's nothing special about that.   Anyone can do it, but it does take practice.  First off, I recommend you get into a habit of meditating daily.   Just spend a few moments everyday, quiet, tranquil and still.   Ask a question that you need an answer too and wait for a reply.    Your head will initially cram full of thoughts, as most of us are thinking a thousand things a minute, but just thank them for their input and release them, one by one until you mind is empty.  At first you probably won't gain any insights but as you learn to relax your mind and open it; you will.   In time, you'll be able to do it at any time as well.   Just retreat to that now familiar place and listen to the familiar voice of wisdom.

The Fifth Power 'P' of Enduring Success

By Preston Squire

Now my friend is going to complain. When he e-mailed me about his frustrations, I wrote him about three P's of enduring success - Patience, Persistence and Prayer. When I started taking that and turning it into a series for this site, another friend suggested adding Positivity which was a wonderful idea and addition.

When my friend saw there was now four P's, he started getting on my case about how I had short changed him. Well, buddy, now you're really going to feel slighted because here's P number five!!

Perspective

It doesn't matter who you are. No amount of money, fame, talent, skill, religion or plain dumb luck will keep you from hitting the occasional speed bump in life. Sometimes it will feel like Life has just sucker punched you in your most sensitive area. You are not immune and everyone has their own sob story. Welcome to the club. But it's through these challenges that we grow and become (hopefully) better human beings for it.

You could be using the Law of Attraction to visualize your partner being nicer to you, to stop disrespecting you when out of the blue, they leave you to be with someone else. You could be praying steadfastly for a promotion when you suddenly find yourself out of work. That new business you started while walking in faith could cause you to go bankrupt, lose your house, livelyhood and even destroy your relationship. Perhaps something terrible has happened to you, or to someone close to you.

All of these have happened to me personally or people I care about deeply.

At times like these we feel tremendous pain in our lives. Often we become discouraged, frustrated, angry and resentful at God for allowing it to happen. Little do we realize that we needed it to happen for our dreams to reach fruition. Often it's not the event itself that is ruining our lives, it's our lack of proper perspective.

When my marriage fell apart, I did everything to try to make it work. I went ninty percent of the way to fixing everything that was wrong with it, only to discover my wife wasn't even willing to do ten percent. I did get angry and blamed God. I walked away from my faith for a time because I couldn't understand why he had allowed my marriage to end when I had done everything 'right'.

Now looking back, I realize it had to happen. I had asked for it too. Even though I didn't realize it. I wanted a loving relationship but you cannot change someone through Law of Attraction nor will God change someone for you. So what happens? I was no longer a vibrational match for that reality. It naturally began to fall away so a vibrational match could replace it. Being with that woman would never bring me the satisfaction I was looking for, so she was removed from my life so that I could enjoy a loving relationship.

However, I totally lacked perspective. If I had seen it that way at the time, I would have maintained my faith in God and would have continued to envision the type of relationship I wanted. I would have attracted a better match into my life and been living my dream. Instead I stubbornly wasted years trying to move backwards while still moving forwards. When I finally gained the correct perspective, I quickly, and rather unexpectedly found a wonderful, passionate love again.

A friend of mine had been praying for increase in his job when he suddenly found himself out of work. Why? Probably because where he was working was a dying industry. There was no increase possible for him there. So God moved him out of there so he could instead bless him with opportunities that he never would have considered otherwise. He's now benefitting from multiple sources of income and gaining a feeling of control over his life he's never known before. Again, though, we struggled with finding a proper perspective. He was angry about losing the job he'd held for the last decade. Scared about what the future would bring. He lost sight of increase and just focused on finding anything at all, changing what he was attracting into his life and delaying the entire process God had intended.

I could give many stories like this. In all cases, looking back, we're all happy those things had happened to us. We see how they have benefitted us and if they hadn't happened how we would have been stuck. However, it's rare when we are going through those difficult times we are able to maintain a proper perspective. We see only want we're losing and take our eyes off of the very goals we are in the midst of achieving, causing us to delay our blessings. We end up hurting ourselves, through our lack of faith.

Ironically it's not only the valleys that cause us to lose perspective, it's the hills too. When we are at the top of our game we often lose perspective of what's really important.

It the last blog about Prayer I quoted Jesus talking about the parable of the seeds and explaining that the seeds that were sewn in the thorns were those that accepted the Word only to lose it to doubt or distraction. We just finished talking about how the valleys in our lives cause doubt, so let's talk about the distractions the hills can bring.

Ask any Pastor or Priest and they'll tell you that when the economy is great attendence drops and when the economy tanks people suddenly remember church. Why? Because while we are happy to seek God's help in the hard times, all too often when things are going great we want to take all credit for it. We become full of ourselves, egotistical, perhaps even feel invunerable. We start enjoying our new found wealth, power and fame and forget why we even wanted them in the first place. We start to seek them not as a necessity to better our lives and the lives of our loved ones but seek wealth, power and fame in and of themselves. 'Keeping up with the Joneses'. We glorify in our ability to create but without any firm foundation as to why we are creating our reality. We allow the excesses of life to distract our focus from what really matters.

Soon we find we have that which we sought but it's empty and meaningless. We become confused, feel lost and often crash and burn. Sometimes we see this dramatically played out in our celebraties. We watch them rise to soaring heights, come crashing down to dismal depths, and hopefully if they haven't lethally overdosed on drugs, eventually rise once more but with a firmer foundation on why success matters to them and what they want to accomplish with it.

In the end all that's changed is their perspective.

So how do we keep a proper perspective when everything seems to be going to hell in a handbasket? More on that - tomorrow.

The Fourth Power 'P' of Enduring Success

By Preston Squire

Prayer

This is part four of a eleven part series. Also see;
The Power P's of Enduring Success - Patience
The Second Power P of Enduring Success - Persistence
The Third P of Enduring Success - Positivitity


Jesus explains the parable of the seeds as such;

Matthew 4:13 - 20

Then Jesus said to them, “If you can’t understand the meaning of this parable, how will you understand all the other parables?

The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others.

The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

As you can see from this parable even when people are taught how to better their lives, so precious few can actually hold onto it long enough to make their lives fruitful.

The first bunch (on the footpath) lack Patience. They like what they are hearing but immediately go back to looking at their unsatisfactory life. They live in the moment with no vision of a better tomorrow.

The second bunch (on rocky soil) lack Persistence. They take in the message of hope. Get all excited, run with it but when things don't go their way, they lose it again.

The third bunch (in thorns) lack Positivity and Perspective. They absorb the lessons and utilize them effectively but then allow circumstances to discourage them or otherwise lose focus on what's really important.

Only the last bunch (on good soil) absorb the lessons of life and utilize them effectively, for the right reasons, consistantly despite adversity, until they bear fruit. What allows this group to succeed when all the others have faded? Certainly patience, persistence, positivity and a proper perspective (hmmm... another P, maybe I should make it 5 Ps?) are all critical to lasting when things are tough. But in order to really endure, when everything seems to be set against you, when everyone around you is telling you otherwise, when there is no physical evidence that you will ever accomplish your goals and dreams, you need to be able to draw on a strength greater than yourself.

PRAYER

Now it is not my intent to preach Christianity, nor do I believe it is the only way. I have seen many miracles happen to people of many difference religions and beliefs. Jesus works for me. It is my understanding of God/Source energy and I draw strength from it but if you do not believe in Jesus then believe in something. Find a religion or definition that works for you.

Prayer is important for a number of reasons.

It helps you to focus your energy. Try to relax, and always ask for what you do want. Be specific as possible. Visualize it. Thank God for it as if it is already yours. Because it is. God loves you. He has set a full table before you with every concievable dish. He wants you to be happy and satisfied. But unless you boldly go forward and claim it, it will remain there.

Given such an array of dishes most people just go forth and take what they are familiar with. It's easy and safe. They look at the other dishes and wonder what they are like but are afraid to try it, in case they don't like it. Maybe it'll be too hot. Or not to their taste. So they stick to what they know.

Many look at some of the richest, most luxurious dishes and desire to sample from them, but ask themselves who are they to be entitled to such as that? That's for people better than they. Like the poem The Wage, these people are asking life for a penny and a penny they shall have. God does not impose such value judgement against us. We impose them against ourselves. Those dishes are there for you to sample. Go boldly forth and do so.

Through prayer we put ourselves in alignment to recieve our desires.

Prayer provides answers to our questions. No, you're not going to hear some booming voice from the heavens (and if you do, let me know your secret) but if you are still, clear of emotional and mental garbage, you may gain clarity. This comes in many forms. A gut feeling. A knowing. A sense of 'rightness'. Your conscience. Timely advice. Meeting someone at a critical time who can help move you in the direction you need.

Most importantly prayer allows us to draw on a source of strength greater than ourselves. When we feel totally tapped out, we can hold onto our faith, and let go and let God.

By being able to hold onto our faith we can envision a way even when no way is evident. All things are possible for God. This keeps us in alignment with our goal, instead of despairing which moves us out of alignment.

Law of Attraction states that whatever we continually focus on we attract. Especially when we focus on it with intense emotion. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad. By holding onto our faith we continue to believe that we will achieve, continue to live in a state of optomistic joy and remain a vibrational match for that which we desire. Without faith, we despair, we get caught up in the here and now, and start to push against it. Pushing against it only serves to attract it. If that's what you've focused on, that's what you're attracting.

But isn't that sort of contradicting myself bouncing from Christianty to Law of Attraction, you ask? If God can do anything and he loves you and you're praying to him shouldn't he provide for you despite the fact that you may be looking at that which you don't want? No. Because if you're focusing on that which you don't want, if that's consuming your mind and energy you are not walking in faith. You are praying on one hand but then disbelieving on the other. If you are truly walking in faith then you can only be focused on that which the Lord is providing and not what the world is showing. You can only be in a state of bliss, because you know, deep down, that God has you covered. You stop looking at the here and now and relax, content that somehow, God will show you a way. And that is Law of Attraction in action.

Once we turn to prayer, once we let go and let God, we are relax and stop feeling like we need to fight the world. And in doing so, we allow our blessings to flow.

The Third Power 'P' of Enduring Success

by Preston Squire

This is a continuation of The Power P's of Enduring Success - Patience
and
The Second Power P of Enduring Success - Persistence

Positivity

The difference between people who live their dreams and people who only wish they did, isn't that the former had it any easier, it's that they managed to hold on longer through the challenging times. 

One of the key ingredients necessary to hold on longer than the masses is the ability to consistantly maintain a positive mental attitude.  Inevitably, something will happen to piss you off or frustrate you.  We're not perfect.  It happens to me.  Bob Proctor has mentioned mutliple times it happens to him.  Anthony Robbins too.  But I do not dwell in negativity long.  I spot negative thinking early on and immediately set my mind back to focusing on the positives.

A lot of people like to be 'realists' but really that's just another word for 'pessimist'.  The only difference is realists are looking at what is and using that to determine what will be.   Actually, that's not a difference at all, except they like to think it's different because they are not painting it to be worse than what the current reality is.

But the Law of Attraction teaches us that whatever you focus on, you attract into your life.  If you are focused on what is, you are attracting more of the same.   If you are focused on what you want, you are attracting that.

In more concrete terms, if you look at the current results and use that as your guide then you automatically limit what you can accomplish.  You cannot envision achieving higher heights than what you're seeing.  Since you cannot envision it, you will not strive continuously to accomplish it and therefore will inevitable prove yourself right.   Effectively you are attracting more of the same into your life.

I mentioned my friend and web guru before and this was exactly where he was at when he e-mailed me.  He was feeling like he had plateaued.  That he just couldn't achieve more than what he had achieved before.  That was his current reality.  He was being realistic.  And if he stayed in that mindset, he'd prove himself right.

"Whether you believe you can, or you can't; you are right."  Henry Ford

Fortunately my friend is like me and does not allow those thoughts to linger very long.  After a few hours he was back to his old indomitable self.  He is one person who continually inspires me as he always shoots for more than he can chew, and often gets it.   I don't doubt he'll be surprising me by scoring some position I would never have thought he was capable of getting, again, sometime soon.

By focusing your mind on what is good about any situation and on the results you want, you start to see how the current reality is not taking you away from your goals but conversely, how they are bring you closer.  To begin with, you'll be grateful for the lessons learned, and any little good you gain from the situation.  Gratitude brings you into alignment with God/Source.  Being resentful about life, pulls you away from your connection to your higher power.    Being grateful and positive also allows you to see and be prepared for oppurtunities that you would miss if you are limiting your mindset to only the realistic results.

Once my friend regained his positive mental attitude, he immediately made some calls, and managed to salvage a contract opportunity he was written off as dead.  If he had allowed himself to have remained in his former state he'd have never made those calls, as he'd still be bitching about how unfair life was instead.

This poem sums it up beautifully.

MY WAGE

By Jessie B. Rittenhouse


I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store;


For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have paid.

People who look at the present results and allow that to shape their expectations of life are asking for a penny. Why else would you ask for a penny? Only because based on your previous experiences, you feel that's what you are worth and capable of. You ask for a penny because you think it's a just wage for your services, even while you rail at the injustice of how you're suffering through life while others seem to be better off.
If you develop and maintain a positive mental attitude you expect and demand more from life. Why can't you have more? You're as good as anyone else in life. God made us all equally, if differently. And the wage you ask for, consistantly, is the wage you'll earn.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Being positive is a choice, an attitude and a habit.   If you are not a positive person by nature you need to habitualize the behavour until you are.  A positive mental attitude will allow you to continue carrying on long after a 'realistic' person would have thrown in the towel.

The Second Power 'P' of Enduring Success

By Preston Squire

Continued from The Power P's of Enduring Success

Persistence

Nothing in life is more important than persistence when it comes to achieving one's goals.  It's more important than education, skill, talent or money.  Most people give up when things get really hard, when the end is still out of sight, and there's no sign of a breakthrough.  If only they knew that just around the very next corner was the breakthough they were looking for.   If they had known that, 90% would have had the strength to endure that little bit longer but because they can't see it, they despair, tire and allow themselves to lose focus.

Recently I've began regularly going to the gym and working out.   One of the things I like best about it is that it's a very physical and easy to identify reminder of how to live life.   If I want to gain muscle mass, then I have to continually push myself past the point where I want to give up.   It's those last few reps, the ones you don't want to do, the ones your mind is telling you are too hard and should be skipped, that make the difference.   It's not until your body is pushed beyond it's limit that it grows.   This has to be exercised with reasonable precaution of course, injuring yourself isn't going to produce desired results but it's the mental game involved.

After a while you learn that it's at the point where your mind is telling you no, that you start getting excited, because that means you're now producing results. At least you will be if you don't listen to it and do a few more reps anyway.  If I'm aching and sore after, I'm happy because I know I'll be liking what I see in the mirror, and in my girlfriend's eyes, the next day.

Success in any other area of life is pretty much the same story.  Without the persistence to continue when you feel like your totally tapped out, you won't experience growth.   Without growth, you're not going to be playing at the level needed to achieve.

How long do you need to endure beyond when you feel like given it all up?   Surprisingly, usually not nearly as long as you'd think.    The reason being, because so few people do.   95% of people get to that point and give up.  So you only need to hold on a little longer than the 95% to achieve the type of results only the top 5% see.

Of course, you could be one of those early quitters, which means you will have a longer journey as you have to build up your mental muscles.   The only way to do that is practise and repetition.   Keep pushing yourself.  The more often you push past your comfort level the broader your comfort level will become.  You will keep breaking through to higher and higher levels until you achieve that success your looking for.  And by looking for, I mean the one you're willing to settle for, not the one you may be envisioning.    In the end the success we achieve is the success we are willing to achieve.   You may want 25 million but when you arrive at 2.5 million, you may decide that's enough to make you happy and you don't really want to bust your ass enough to earn 22.5 million more. Or it may just whet your appetite for even greater goals.  Either way, what's okay.  Follow your bliss.   Goals are there to serve you not torment you.  Just don't give up and settle for less than what makes you truly happy.

The Power P's of Enduring Success

By Preston Squire

On our journey to success there will inevitably be a lot of stumbling blocks.   Adversity is guaranteed, and is in fact, a necessary ingredient to success.   Without adversity to overcome, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, (possibly physically too) there is little to no growth and without growth we cannot expect to accomplish more than we are at this moment. 

However life can sometimes just kick you right in the balls.  There will be times when success seems to be within reach only to be snatched away again.  Or you could be at the top of your game, thinking everything is going smoothly, only to have your whole deck of cards collapse on you.

For myself this happened early on.   I had recently discovered Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within, and was using it to great effect.  I went from being an average sales person to the top sales person in the company I was working at.  I developed a sales technique so successful they had me teach it to the entire division.   I was married to a beautiful woman I loved very much.  Just had my second child, a beautiful baby girl.  I was being prepped for a promotion.  I had also started a writting career and had just finished my first published project.  Everything was wonderful.  I was charged!

Then my wife left me. I don't blame her, but at the time it was a low blow to the balls.  It caught me completely off-guard.   I hadn't seen any signs, I didn't know how to react.   I went from being on top of the world to sinking into the depth of dispair.   Not only did my personal life suffer, but my proffessional life as well.   My sales numbers plummeted with my attitude.  I was passed over for promotion and eventually moved off that program.  I lost my lust for life and blamed God for the injustices.

More recently, my friend and web guru who has been working from sporatic contract to contract finally landed a major deal, a six month contract with a major financial institution.   Assured he would be given the position he passed over a permanent position elsewhere that was offered just days later.   Then disaster.  The contract fell through and permanent position was otherwise filled, leaving him with nothing. 

He was feeling pretty frustrated and irate at life, like his best days were now behind him when he e-mailed me to tell me about it.

I gave him these three P's I'm about to share with you as they were top of mind, based on recent readings (I'm always studying success) and appropriate to the situation.    These types of disasters befall all of us from Donald Trump to Anthony Robbins to you and I.   No one is exempt.  When they happen we tend to ask 'Why me?'   Well, why not you?  Who are you to be exempted?  Welcome to the club.   Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start looking for how you can use this to your advantage.    That's easier said than done, granted.  And sometimes the only thing to gain is the lessons learned.   But those lessons are the most important ones.  We learn little from success, we learn a lot from our mistakes.  But unless we learn from them, unless we find the seed of opportunity, we cannot grow.

At these times it's often hard to see how they could ever benefit our lives.   Often it's only with the passing of time that we can look back and confidently say, 'Thank God that happened to me!  If that hadn't happened I never would have..."   So while you're in the midsts of recovering from the a low blow, remember these P's.

The Eleven Power P's of Enduring Success

Patience

Just accept it.   God does not work according to our schedule.  But God's delays are not God's denials either.   Any success guru will advise you to set a date for when you want to complete your goal.  That's absolutely necessary.  Without one you're prone to procrastinate.  However what do you do when you get to that date and the goal hasn't reach fruitation?   Set another date and keep going!

Now that's easy advice to give but I'll be honest.  This is one 'P' that I personally struggle with the most.  And I have messed myself up more than once by not exercising it.  God grant me a lot of great attributes but the kind of patience to patiently wait while nothing seems to be happening isn't one of them.  I'm the type of guy who would rather walk for 20 minutes than wait 10 for a bus.   Not because I want the exercise (although that's a nice way to justify it) but because I need to see progress.

I'm in a great relationship now with a truly fantastic woman but already I'm struggling with this P.   She just got out of a marriage with a guy who showed terrific promise but proved to be all smoke and mirrors once they actually got hitched.   It was a disaster.  She's understandably slow, and in no rush, to trust and really allow herself to love someone else now.   I know I'm the real deal and one hundred percent confident she will see that too but I have to keep reeling myself in and asking God for grace and patience because I can't see progress in the relationship most of the time.  I want to push things and while she may need some slight prodding and encouragement, pushing the matter will ultimately only drive her away.    I learned that the hard way with my last love.   By being patient and knowing, accepting and being grateful for that I have already recieved, I'm continually surprised and blessed by her.

Same thing when it comes to job hunting or waiting for a promotion.   Often we get frustrated or discouraged and want to either push things forward or give up.  Patience, patience.  Good things come to those who wait.   I'm not saying to sit idle waiting for something to happen but do stick with your plan, and then let go and let God.   Even when everything seems to be going wrong, like it is for my friend right now, triumph can be just around the corner.  Have faith, remain confident, learn from your mistakes and always stay focused on the end result you want, never on the current results that you don't want.

UPDATE:  Just wanted to note that my friend ended up getting the best job of his life soon after this was written.  The highest pay and the least amount of stress, but before he could be ready to recieve, he needed to turn his 'poor me' attitude around.  Fortunately he was and was blessed for his continued optomism.