by Preston Squire 2012
Do you know someone who always talks a great talk, but never seems to be able to walk the walk?
We all do and we all do it, at least in some aspect of our lives. Either always talking about what you're going to do - someday, but certainly not today - or constantly acknowledging that you need to work on some aspect of your life, maybe promising to change, but instead of actually changing, you just end up acknowledging you're still committing the same behaviour later on.
Understanding why we fall into this pattern and understanding how to break it are key to finally stop talking about being successful and actually starting to 'put money where your mouth is'.
"JUST DO IT" ~ Nike slogan
The very first thing you need to do is to decide. That is, to make a firm, unwaivering commitment to make the change. You don't need to know 'how' exactly you'll make the change, just that the status quo is not going to continue. Period.
Then take immediate action. Do not put it off, at all. Take action A.S.A.P.. Results love speed. Then continue to take daily action.
Set a completion date. Set a measurement. How will you know if you accomplished your goal? Never leave it vague, be specific. If you just say 'make more money' and you accomplish nothing but buy a lotttery ticket that earned you $5, did you accomplish your goal? Consciously, no, but subconsciously, you did. Write out exactly the result you want, and when you are going to achieve that result. Now earning a set amount of money or losing a set amount of weight is easy to determine however, something like 'being nicer to your spouse or kids' needs to be broken down into more definable actions and/or results.
Make sure your intended goal is S.M.A.R.T.:
Get an accountability partner. Tell someone who will hold you accountable what you are trying to achieve. Personally, this is where I find having a friend who's also a bit of an ass comes in handy. They'll have some fun busting your balls, whereas most people will just say 'oh, that's okay,' when you come up short.
Be realistic about breaking old habits. If you have been doing something a certain way for a long period of time, you're not simply going to stop (unless you have tremendous pain associated to repeating the action) no matter how noble your intent. It's conditioned and patterned in you. You must give yourself a new habit to replace the old one and you must consciously commit to doing the new behaviour for 30 days(even if it's just 'taking action' instead of 'procrastinate'. Studies suggests it takes 21 days to make/break a habit. I find I usually slip into old behaviours easily in the first week so I give myself a good 30 days to make sure I've rewritten that conditioning in my mind.
Set yourself up for success. If you are surrounded by negative people - get away from that influence. Maybe you're married to them or forced to work closely with them but you can determine to not partake of that negative outlook on life. It's a poison that saps your motivation to do anything. Stop reading the news - it's mostly just negativity. Start listening to motivational tapes or reading inspiring books, or take a course that will get you closer to your goal. Feed your brain good food for thought - you are what you eat.
Know you're worthy. Often the reason we don't achieve a result is because we have a conflict in our values or beliefs. For example if we believe rich people are all shallow, greedy money grubbers, then subconsciously we would project that same value onto ourselves should we come in money. So we avoid money. Conversely, if we think of ourselves as that 'fun, funny fat person' then we may fear we'll lose that part of ourselves that makes us uniquely 'us'. For a long time I had a conflict when it came to money. I believed that I'd become less spiritual and more shallow should I become rich, that it would change me. We are not a product of our results, our results are a product of us. If we're great, we'll produce great results. There's nothing wrong with being a better you.
Do you know someone who always talks a great talk, but never seems to be able to walk the walk?
We all do and we all do it, at least in some aspect of our lives. Either always talking about what you're going to do - someday, but certainly not today - or constantly acknowledging that you need to work on some aspect of your life, maybe promising to change, but instead of actually changing, you just end up acknowledging you're still committing the same behaviour later on.
Understanding why we fall into this pattern and understanding how to break it are key to finally stop talking about being successful and actually starting to 'put money where your mouth is'.
"JUST DO IT" ~ Nike slogan
The very first thing you need to do is to decide. That is, to make a firm, unwaivering commitment to make the change. You don't need to know 'how' exactly you'll make the change, just that the status quo is not going to continue. Period.
Then take immediate action. Do not put it off, at all. Take action A.S.A.P.. Results love speed. Then continue to take daily action.
Set a completion date. Set a measurement. How will you know if you accomplished your goal? Never leave it vague, be specific. If you just say 'make more money' and you accomplish nothing but buy a lotttery ticket that earned you $5, did you accomplish your goal? Consciously, no, but subconsciously, you did. Write out exactly the result you want, and when you are going to achieve that result. Now earning a set amount of money or losing a set amount of weight is easy to determine however, something like 'being nicer to your spouse or kids' needs to be broken down into more definable actions and/or results.
Make sure your intended goal is S.M.A.R.T.:
- Specific - Fuzzy goals get fuzzy results. Be as specific as possible.
- Measurable - How will you know you've succeeded? Set certain definable targets to be reached.
- Attainable - Don't set a goal you don't believe you can achieve. If you can't visualize yourself having accomplished the goal in the time-frame allowed, you'll subsconsciously undermined yourself.
- Relevant - Is this goal really in-line with what you're trying to do with your life? With what is truly important to you? I'd love to have the world's greatest video game library, but it's not really relevant to my life.
- Time-based - When will the goal be completed by?
Get an accountability partner. Tell someone who will hold you accountable what you are trying to achieve. Personally, this is where I find having a friend who's also a bit of an ass comes in handy. They'll have some fun busting your balls, whereas most people will just say 'oh, that's okay,' when you come up short.
Be realistic about breaking old habits. If you have been doing something a certain way for a long period of time, you're not simply going to stop (unless you have tremendous pain associated to repeating the action) no matter how noble your intent. It's conditioned and patterned in you. You must give yourself a new habit to replace the old one and you must consciously commit to doing the new behaviour for 30 days(even if it's just 'taking action' instead of 'procrastinate'. Studies suggests it takes 21 days to make/break a habit. I find I usually slip into old behaviours easily in the first week so I give myself a good 30 days to make sure I've rewritten that conditioning in my mind.
Set yourself up for success. If you are surrounded by negative people - get away from that influence. Maybe you're married to them or forced to work closely with them but you can determine to not partake of that negative outlook on life. It's a poison that saps your motivation to do anything. Stop reading the news - it's mostly just negativity. Start listening to motivational tapes or reading inspiring books, or take a course that will get you closer to your goal. Feed your brain good food for thought - you are what you eat.
Know you're worthy. Often the reason we don't achieve a result is because we have a conflict in our values or beliefs. For example if we believe rich people are all shallow, greedy money grubbers, then subconsciously we would project that same value onto ourselves should we come in money. So we avoid money. Conversely, if we think of ourselves as that 'fun, funny fat person' then we may fear we'll lose that part of ourselves that makes us uniquely 'us'. For a long time I had a conflict when it came to money. I believed that I'd become less spiritual and more shallow should I become rich, that it would change me. We are not a product of our results, our results are a product of us. If we're great, we'll produce great results. There's nothing wrong with being a better you.
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